Confessions of a Broken Heart

I used to be good with words. I used to be able to express my thoughts, my feelings, my very being, effortlessly putting them to words. Now, I find myself unable to write. It's not because I don't know the right words but because even when I do, they fail to express the deep yet hollowed feelings that come with those words. I am not in the state of depression- no, depression is too strong and sad word to describe me. All I am, is a girl who have loved another in a way thatI did not even know was possible. When I was young, I thought that I'd NEVER be able to love another in such a way that would overcome all odds, accept all pain and not once would I doubt my feelings. But now I realize just how wrong I was. I have come to love another and felt with full force just how deep and strong that love was and still is. Even after all the pain, some bitter memories, and some failed expectations, when it all came down to that one fateful night, all my mind could think about was: "I don't want to lose this! I don't ever want to lose this!" And yet, I have to do what I needed to do. The statement "My world just came crashing down" would be an understatement of what I am feeling. Yes, it's melodramatic but if you could be in my place at this very moment you would know just how true these words are. I wish this isn't how I'm feeling but reality is: I am feeling this way. I wish I could numb myself and forget about those painful memories but that would make me a coward. And I am not. All I can do is to wait for that one day. And when that day comes, I will still love him with even more force that my heart is capable of conveying. I may be stupid and I might not have learned my lesson but if it hurts me this much then this can't be the end. If I can't have my happy ever after then I'm damn sure that I'll have my happy beginning.